Pig Toss!

A game I invented with friends, under extremely dubious circumstances. I in no way encourage playing this game. But it is the funnest drinking game ever made. (Yes, funnest.)

Pig Toss!
© Waarlowe 2013





Objective
The objective of Pig Toss! is to throw the pig and make it land on its feet. Any number of players is permissible, and this version is for players aged 21 and up.

Instructions

1)     Go to Feeder’s Supply and find the dog toy section. Purchase a rubber pig for $8.99.

2)     Take home pig.

3)     Have sex with pig to warm it up.

4)     Pig Toss! is an indoor game. Any surface will do (hardwood, laminate, carpet of any type, garage floor, etc.). Grass and irregular outdoor surfaces won’t work very well for getting the pig to land on his hooves.*

5)     Determine a scratch line in your room. The scratch line cannot be crossed when a player tosses the pig.

6)     Use a wall (or the back of a couch) as a target for throwing the pig. If using a couch, the pig must hit the couch.**

7)     The scratch line must be 15 to 21 feet from the target, depending on how much space you have available.

8)     Players take turns in a consistent order to toss the pig.

9)     One toss per player per round.

10)  The pig must be tossed underhanded, although hiking the pig is also permissible.

11)  For the purposes of this game, a drink is quantified as one ounce or more.

12)  Any violation of these rules results in the tosser having one drink.

Scoring

1)     If the pig lands on his hooves, everyone but the tosser drinks one drink.

2)     If the pig lands upside down (on his back), the tosser drinks one drink.

3)     If the pig lands on his side, it’s a push; nothing happens and the next player in the rotation gets to toss.

4)     If the pig lands against the target surface with either two hooves on the couch or wall, or his snout against the couch or wall, this is regarded as a leaner. Everyone but the tosser drinks two drinks.***

5)     If the pig lands facing skyward (on his butt with his snout upright), it’s a social and everyone drinks one drink.

6)     **If a player misses the couch, she must drink the remainder of her beverage.

7)     ***If the pig lands on its snout with four hooves against the couch or wall, everyone gets naked.

* Similarly, for the purposes of maximizing the potential positions in which the pig can land, it is recommended to play on a flat (non-carpeted surface, except perhaps for Berber).